Bush Court of Kalangadoo

Howdydoo from Kalangadoo.... yes, that used to be the normal welcome from me to the many visitors that graced my "Tobermory". Back between 1998 and 2007.  as I may have mentioned in an earlier presentation I would do an weekly recital on Hobart Radio, and from this weekly interlude I amassed many friends  (listeners) who would come up the mountain for a visit, or just phone call for a chat, and my introduction was "howdydoo from kalangadoo", which went over very well indeed. Sometimes I had visitors who would come up in campervans and stay overnight and enjoy a barby and a few drinks and natter around the fire, an experience to behold yes indeed.

Here follows a poem that was inspired one night when I went outside to a vision through the trees of a noisy group of "natives" gathered around the barby area nattering away in various dialogues, and this was my resulting version......hope you enjoy and get o feel their presence.

BUSH COURT AT KALANGADOO

I ONCE WAS THE LOCAL WALLOPER

UP IN THE HILLS AT KALANGADOO,

THE ONLY ARREST I EVER MADE

WAS OF A DRUNKEN KANGAROO,

NORMALLY.....OUR LEAFY MOUNTAIN VILLAGE

IS QUITE BALMY AND CRIME FREE,

BUT ON THIS NIGHT I’D HAD A RUM OR TWO.....

WHEN I SAW THIS ROO COCK HIS LEG AND HAVE A PEE.

SO I PULLED THE OLD ROO OVER

AND IT SEEMED PRETTY PLAIN TO ME,

THAT HE WAS SUFFERING AN EXCESS OF ALCOHOL

AS HE TOOK AIM AGAINST THE TREE,

NOW ONCE I’D SEEN THE EVIDENCE

IT BECAME A LEGAL MATTER.....

BETWEEN THE POSSUMS AND THE SUGAR BATS.....

SO THEY ALL ASSEMBLED FOR A NATTER.

“WHAT’S THIS NEW WORLD COMING TO?”

SAID ELDER BRUSHTAIL TO DING BAT

“WHERE DOES OLD MAN ROO GET OFF?

PEEING ON OUR HOMES LIKE THAT,”

“HE MUST HAVE WET HIS WHISTLE.....

DOWN AT THE LOCAL WATER HOLE,”

THAT’S WHERE ALL NOCTURNAL NATIVES GO

WHEN THEY WISH TO BARE THEIR SOUL.

SO THE HIGH BUSH COURT IT WAS CONVENED

WITH JUDGE OLLIE OWL IN PRESIDE,

THE LAST TIME HE WAS ON THE BENCH

WILLIE WOMBAT COLLAPSED AND DIED,

SO, NO GREAT EXPECTATIONS WERE BEING HELD

FOR THE WELL BEING OF OLD MAN ROO,

PROCEEDINGS OFTEN WENT AWRY.....

I N THE BUSH COURT AT KALANGADOO.

FROM HIS CELL INTO THE DOCK

HOPPED A VERY CONCERNED OFFENDER,

THE PROSECUTOR HE BELLOWED OUT THE CHARGE

QUICKLY FOLLOWED BY THE PUBLIC DEFENDER,

“NOT GUILTY YOUR HONOUR, AND WITH RESPECT,

THESE CHARGES ARE NOUGHT BUT A JOKE.....

MY CLIENT WAS RESTING BY THAT TREE.....

ATTEMPTING TO ROLL HIMSELF A SMOKE.”

NOW.....EVERYONE AND HIS DOG KNOWS,

THAT OLD MAN ROOS CAN’T SMOKE,

BUT JUDGE OLLIE OWL WAS MOST IMPRESSED

BY THIS PUBLIC DEFENDER BLOKE,

DOWN CAME HIS MALLET.....”CASE DISMISSED”,

HE FOUND IN FAVOUR OF OLD MAN ROO.....

AND FOR BRINGING SUCH A CASE TO COURT.....

I GOT THE SHOVE......................OUT OF KALANGADOO.

Darrell B Parker

Bush Poet of Kalangadoo

1999